Stop Abuse…

Stop accepting abusive behaviors & hold those accountable.

Stop associating abuse as a way of showing love.

Stop letting toxic adults teach your children how to abuse.

Stop abusing by speaking to others with disrespect.

Stop abusing by blaming others for your actions.

Stop abusing by controlling.

Stop abusing with fighting or killing.

Stop abusing with belittling & harassing.

Stop abusing by using manipulation.

Stop abusing by seeking revenge.

Stop abusing by consistently lying.

Stop abusing & justifying with reasons.

Stop abusing because you were abused.

Stop abusing by calling out others actions & never your own.

Stop abusing because you can’t communicate effectively.

Stop abusing because you choose not to provide.

Stop abusing because you’re frustrated and overwhelmed.

Stop abusing by not taking care of your children.

Stop abusing wanting to see others in pain.

Stop abusing due to you need to be right.

Stop abusing privileges.

Stop abusing due to lack of problem solving.

Stop abusing by threats and intimidation.

Stop abusing due to generational habits.

Stop abusing as a result of you not getting your way.

Stop abusing because hurt people hurt.

Stop abusing due to your lack of understanding.

Stop abusing because you have a weapon.

Stop abusing by slandering peoples character.

Stop abusing to show others how tough you are.

Stop abusing because it’s in your bloodline.

Stop abusing by taking advantage.

Stop abusing with calling Cps making up false allegations.

Stop abusing using hate.

Stop abusing by holding grudges.

Stop abusing by mistreating others.

Stop abusing and taking it out on kids.

Stop abusing against your own culture.

Stop abusing, acting as if you want to be part of your child life, but your action shows different.

Stop abusing using nice words with angry actions.

Stop abusing by telling others you have anger issues.

Stop abusing by not having self control.

Stop abusing by leading people on.

Stop abusing using mind games.

Stop abusing with using unhealthy voice tones & harsh words.

Stop abusing because you’re afraid to be yourself.

Stop abusing as a result of someone made you mad.

Stop abusing due to following the wrong crowd.

Stop abusing using vulnerable people.

Stop abusing bringing negativity to others life.

Stop abusing because you choose not to follow rules & directions.

We all are guilty of a couple of these some intentionally & some unintentionally.  The solution is to change the action. We all are in the business of teaching others rather you agree or not. We should all ask ourselves what exactly are we teaching?  Will it hinder a person’s future or become beneficial towards their present?

Break the cycle, start a new one, that can be useful for yourself, and others too!

Change the generational habits, traits, characteristics, and mannerisms!

Should Children Who Bully Other Children Attend the Same School as Non Bullying Children?

No! No! Heck no! Diablos no! Diable non!

1st let’s start by giving the meaning of bullying.  A person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those they perceive as vulnerable.  Bullying is definitely a learned behavior.  Children learn how to bully from abusive relationships they see parents in, television shows, music, family/friends, siblings, adults, the internet, etc.

Why separate the bullies?

Either you teach the children ways to change the bullying behavior or children should attend a school where bullies are only allowed.  Bullying is a learned violent behavior.  Believe it or not, all families aren’t toxic, abusive physically verbally mentally, and/or not taught to harm others.  Children who are bullied become stressed, suicidal, unhappy, depressed, singled out, helpless, etc.  For a child to desire to end their life or actually take their life due to bullying will never sit well with me.  Separating the bullies from the non-bullies can possibly change bullies’ views & actions in life.  Bullying is not under control when schools have bullying hotlines.  Children should attend schools to receive an education not to run or fight others.  

How can a child focus on learning if they are being abused or tortured daily?

Why tell their parents/teacher? Children are taught snitches get stitches. Don’t be a tattle teller.

Children are taking matters into their own hands, bringing weapons to schools, to harm those who harm them.

How many times a report is written, the suspension is given, detention is available, contacting parents is a must but, still fails with little results?

When children attend school they should feel protected. How is that possible with bullying?

I’m a product of bullying. These are some ways I handled it as a child.

Never told

Ran from the predators

Tried to be friends/associates with predators

Started physically fighting

Hated going to school

Felt alone or different

Started acting out with bad behavior

You form a tough exterior that still follows you to this day.  Judging a book by its cover is what it’s called.  Many adults ask why I never smile not knowing the pain behind the hurt from bullying in my life.  Bullying doesn’t stop in childhood sad to say many adults are bullies.  Bullying creates a complex for a child that sometimes follows them within their adulthood.  

Adults tell children they can be whatever they like in life.  This isn’t 100% true if being themselves causes hurt & pain.  Children are viewed as weak or not strong if they don’t adapt to the violent behaviors of others. Children who bully should be held responsible for their actions.  When hurting others there are bad consequences behind the action.

Parents should be held responsible for their children’s actions.  Children learn a lot from home.  Rather it’s intentionally or unintentionally it’s still a taught behavior.  Find out where your child’s bullying behavior stems from and correct it before it’s too late.

Ways adults teach children to handle bullying:

Tell someone- viewed as snitching

Walk away- viewed as weak

Talk it out bully’s aren’t in agreement status

Ignore- it’s definitely only so much a child can ignore

Call/report on bullying hotline- viewed as snitching

Attend bullying anonymous classes

Simply fight back physically

Bullies’ actions (Are you a bully?)

Physical harm

Cyberattack

Verbally & emotionally abusive

Taking things that don’t belong to bullies

Destroying non-bullies items

Taking lunch/money without permission or out of force

Bullies get everyone they can to side with them

Speaking negatively about non-bullies appearance 

Attention if you are a parent of a bully l recommend you dial 1-800-please get your child some help! Some parents don’t have their children here anymore due to bullying.

ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

I’m not a doctor I just read….

ODD is a condition in which a child displays a consistent pattern of defiant, uncooperative, and hostility behavior towards people in authority. This behavior more than often disrupts the child’s normal daily task, including activities within the family, and school.

Angry/irritable mood

Looses temper easily; frequent outbursts of anger & resentment

Argumentative

Excessively argues with adults

Actively refuses to comply with requests & rules

Vindictiveness

Is spiteful & seeks revenge

Combination of:

Biological- defects in or injuries to certain areas of the brain lead to…

Genetic- inherent, many children have close family members with mental disorders, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and personality disorders.

Environmental factors- chaotic family life, substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents.

Occur in Families with a history of:

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

Anxiety’s disorders

Substance use disorders

Learning disabilities

Mood disorders such as depression/bipolar depression

How to check:

No single test that can diagnose ODD.

A mental health profession can determine if child have disorder by testing the child symptoms & behaviors using clinical experience.

Ages:

Children usually start showing signs between 6-8 sometimes younger. Can last through teenage years.

Best way to handle children with ODD:

1. Look for underlying issues.  Defiance comes from various reasons.

2. Take a break before consequences

3. Be consistent with disciplinary consequences.

4. Congratulate child with accomplishments.

5. Practice child time.