ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

I’m not a doctor I just read….

ODD is a condition in which a child displays a consistent pattern of defiant, uncooperative, and hostility behavior towards people in authority. This behavior more than often disrupts the child’s normal daily task, including activities within the family, and school.

Angry/irritable mood

Looses temper easily; frequent outbursts of anger & resentment

Argumentative

Excessively argues with adults

Actively refuses to comply with requests & rules

Vindictiveness

Is spiteful & seeks revenge

Combination of:

Biological- defects in or injuries to certain areas of the brain lead to…

Genetic- inherent, many children have close family members with mental disorders, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and personality disorders.

Environmental factors- chaotic family life, substance abuse, and inconsistent discipline by parents.

Occur in Families with a history of:

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

Anxiety’s disorders

Substance use disorders

Learning disabilities

Mood disorders such as depression/bipolar depression

How to check:

No single test that can diagnose ODD.

A mental health profession can determine if child have disorder by testing the child symptoms & behaviors using clinical experience.

Ages:

Children usually start showing signs between 6-8 sometimes younger. Can last through teenage years.

Best way to handle children with ODD:

1. Look for underlying issues.  Defiance comes from various reasons.

2. Take a break before consequences

3. Be consistent with disciplinary consequences.

4. Congratulate child with accomplishments.

5. Practice child time.

A Letter for my Bonus Parents,

This letter is strictly for the bonus parents who are actively loving and caring for a child that is not biologically yours.

I’m sorry I have to be pacific due to having some bum bonus parents out there too.

Bonus parents rarely get recognition & gratitude for the special heart they possess.

Due to ungratefulness & hurtful feelings some immature parents view bonus parents as parent replacement.

This is simply not the case.

Bonus parents are aware, when we date someone, they have children, we can’t love, and care for them without doing the same for the children.

It’s simply a package deal.

To find an individual who will love our children just as much as they love their own is rare now days.

This is why I label bonus parents as special.  

Bonus parents are there to assist, provide, form positive relationships, and love the children just as much as their own.

If the absentee parent hold any grudges or mix feelings it would be smart to have an adult positive conversation to deaden any negativity that may fester in biological parent heart.

It seems like people assume that folks out here are taking care of other people children just because.

If biological parent is properly participating regularly in their parenting duties of caring for their child/children.

There is no way shape or form anything bad can come out of a child or children having more than 2 parents.

Instead of passing judgment on bonus parent, why not give them a hand, and pitch in more often physically & financially when it comes to raising your child/children.

It only seems fair.

Incorporate a gift.

Real bonus parent’s you guys earned it!

Biological parents how about talk to your children so they can get on board.

Most of the times if the children have mixed emotions it stems from the biological parent feelings and actions.

If the child/children see that the biological parent is happy, respectful, and cool with the setup the child will accept the order.

The child will also respect the bonus parent for the position they have as an extra parent.

Winning over a child takes, time, patience, and understanding.

If you are the adult you have an upper hand to guide the child.

With that being said kudos bonus parents! You guys rock and deserve the best!

Yours truly

Jeffries Childcare

Children with Undisciplined Anger

Caring for children that have uncontrollable anger issues can be a challenge for a parent & caregiver while performing their daily work tasks. 

If a parent or caregiver notice a child is acting out in abusive ways with their emotions it is important that the child get the appropriate help that is needed for correction.

The primary focus should be finding out why child is performing negatively on those emotions.

Teach the child positive techniques on how to deal with emotions if the problem arise again.

It is important that those negative emotions that the child is displaying should not be ignored or viewed as normal behavior.

If the behavior is caught at an early age and treated on a regular basis parent & caregiver have more chances to develop proper ways to handle the emotions.

Acting out negatively on emotions & behavior matters is a taught skill rather it’s intentionally or unintentionally.

As humans we are equipped with emotions.

As imperfect humans we must learn factual ways on how to control and manage those emotions/behaviors.

Otherwise, we put ourselves in the category of hurting others due to mismanaged emotions.

It is a parent’s responsibility to guide children by giving different alternatives on how to handle their emotions.

If parents do not know how then its mandatory that parents seek help in learning affective ways on managing rage and how to discipline effectively.

If child is noticing that parents aren’t in control of their own behavior/emotions then unintentionally parent is automatically teaching the child improper ways to handle their emotions and behavior.

If child is acting out behaviors at home 9 times out of 10 they will display it everywhere else.

It is up to the adults more importantly the parents to show/teach children positive techniques to control their negative emotions and behaviors.

All adults should monitor the behaviors by documenting and give consequences when child display behavior. 

All adults should be on the same page with structure when it comes to children behaviors.

Working with children for over 20 years I learned the same way we as adults want respect, someone to listen, and understand us children want the same in return.

Sometimes as adults our own emotions and stress factors can get the best of us allowing our behavior to become uncontrollable.

If this is the case it’s important to work harder with changing self and talk to the child about the rage you displayed.

Apologizing for how you handled the situation.

Letting the child know that you as an adult will focus on handling the negative behavior in proper ways oppose to inappropriate ways.

This shows the child that not only are you changing self but you are holding yourself accountable for inappropriate actions.

Parents should understand if you do not teach your child the right or wrong way someone else or something else will.

Sometimes as parents we feel that giving our children everything they want is great parenting.

Instead, it is giving children a since of entitlement and leaving them to believe they don’t have to work for anything in life.

This is dysfunctional teaching and is not reality.

In turn if teachings aren’t corrected, children will grow up into adulthood with same attitude, and when let down child/adult will display mismanaged emotions including rage in a negative manner.

As parents we are responsible to provide for our children that include rewarding some wants when positive behavior & tasks are accomplished. 

In order to train children the proper ways creating a weekly chart on children important task with positive & negative behaviors should be incorporated in a setting where family can view.

Marking off child’s daily routine and rewarding at the end of the week when all task are completed successfully.

This is showing children what you expect from them, responsibility, and holding them accountable for their actions.

This daily routine is simply creating a system that teaches children what happens when task are completed, not completed, and/or behavior is not up to part.

Example

Child Name:____________________________ Date:________________________

Teaching children ways to discipline their behavior in a positive manner may feel overwhelming at first.

The rewards of the change is well worth the wait.

Our children are adults longer then they are a child.

We want our children to think before they react and having self control is far more important than not having self control.

Showing our children that it is far more positive ways to deal with anger, emotions, behavior, and hurt lets society know that as a parent you just aren’t worried about your child. You are looking out for the safety of others. In my eyes that is an act of selflessness!